Staff Writer28 May 2018 AT 12:10 PM

15 things your friends ask you when you move to Dubai

"Where even is Dubai?"
Staff Writer28 May 2018 AT 12:10 PM
Lists, Funny, Dubai, GIFs
© Shutterstock
Lists, Funny, Dubai, GIFs
© Shutterstock

1. Is it safe?
“On separate occasions, I’ve lost my purse, phone and passport and I got them back. Every. Single. Time.”

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2. Are you getting paid, like, loads of money?
“I’m just going to say no, in case you make me pick up the tab next time.”

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3. [If you’re a woman] Can you drive?
“YES! Sorry for the outburst, but yes, women can drive.”

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4. Where even is Dubai?
“Erm… have you never heard of the UAE?”

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5. … Is that in Abu Dhabi?
“Just… spend some time on Google Maps please.”

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6. Do you swim in your pool every day before work? I would.
“No, I don’t and no, you wouldn’t.”

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7. Does everyone drive a supercar?
“I am currently talking to you from my Ford Ka.”

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8. Is it just a desert full of skyscrapers?
“Hold on while I WhatsApp you a picture of Hatta, and Kite Beach, and the Madinat Jumeirah, and this cool new hiking trail I was on last weekend…”

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9. What’s so special about Dubai?
“Lots of things. The cleanliness of public bathrooms is pretty high on the list.”

10. Is camel racing really a thing?
“Yes and, it’s brilliant.”

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11. What’s the food like? 
“I’ve gained a stone since I arrived. That says it all.”

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12. Don’t you get vertigo living so high up?
“Going out on my balcony is like an extreme sport.”

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13. How do you get to work?
“What are you expecting me to say? Via flying car? Actually, that will be happening in a few years…”

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14. Is there plenty of stuff to do at weekends?
“This weekend I’m deciding between a boat party, a brunch, a concert, wakeboarding, kayaking or just chilling out with Netflix.”

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15. When can I come and visit you?
“There’s a waiting list.”

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