Eddie Taylor29 Apr 2015 AT 03:27 PM

The Avengers: Age of Ultron

The latest instalment of the superhero supergroup
Eddie Taylor29 Apr 2015 AT 03:27 PM

Name: The Avengers: Age of Ultron

Release Date: April 2015 (it’s so close you can hear Marvel fanboys stampeding to get their tickets).

Dramatis Personae: The usual suspects: Robert Downey Jr, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner will be joined by Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver and Elizabeth Olsen as Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch

We assume Mr Hemsworth will be attracting, ahem, a certain demographic? Yes. There weren’t many dissenting voices when he was voted Sexiest Man Alive by People magazine in 2014. Never mind the magical hammer, his fans claim he’s already been touched by the hand of god.

Okay, okay, we get it. What about the film itself? We’re hearing the sequel is much grittier and darker… Sort of. The heroes will be up against some impossible-to-beat nihilistic bad guy and, despite some initial squabbling, will have to work as a team to save the world… again. Did someone say formulaic? In this case, the bad guy is kind of Stark’s fault. The Avengers needed some time off, so Ironman creates Ultron, an artificial intelligence programme to ward off threats to Earth. Problem is, it soon realises that the biggest threat to the planet are human beings. *Cue existential threat*

Any decent gags? Bruce Banner has got himself some new microfiber pants that stretch as he does when his green half makes an appearance. No more awkward moments.

What else are we excited about? The Avengers are getting some revamping done to their gadgets which are worth geeking out over: Captain’s shield will be magnetic, so he can call it to him at will; Hawkeye’s bow now has an infrared detector; Black Widow has new charged batons that jolt the bad guys. Oh, and there’s a fancy party which they get cleaned up for. Yeah, Avengers in suits. Check that, THOR in a suit!

In a nutshell. No surprises. Which is no surprise. 

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