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21 signs that you’re single in Dubai

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1. You’re on first name terms with at least one Deliveroo driver.
You almost feel a little bit embarrassed when you get the same guy two nights in a row.

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2. Ladies’ night has become a weekly institution that you’ve stopped trying to deny.
You gave into your friends months ago.

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3.  People at work keep trying to set you up with a “really great” friend who just moved here.
Back off, people.

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4. The Entertainer is built for people in pairs, which makes it extremely awkward when you and all your single mates go out.
There’s always an odd number.

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5. You’re like a directory of everything that’s going on in Dubai.
When your friends are planning a night out they call you before checking Platinumlist.

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6. You’ve been single for so long that you’ve forgotten how to speak to someone you might be interested in.
“Why do I have to be so awkward all the time?”

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7. Your call history on Skype alternates between “Mum” and “Dad”.
Yep.

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8. You’ve stopped getting excited when your phone flashes up with a text.
“Oh look, it’s Domino’s reminding me that I can save 20% on… wait a minute. That IS exciting!”

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9. Your weekly shop consists of a jumbo pack of ramen noodles, a jar of green pesto and the smallest bottle of milk on the shelf.
You have no idea what you’re going to make with it…

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10. You’re in your apartment so infrequently that you’ve never bothered to buy a proper TV.
Your laptop does just fine, thank you.

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11. You’ve followed up a work phone call more than once with a LinkedIn search…
Just in case they’re good looking.

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12. You know that your married friends are #jealous of your Instagram.
Hello you, snooping on my Insta Story while I live it up in Sri Lanka for the weekend.

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13. You have literally never been to Pierchic.
Only couples go there.

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14. You always feel like you’ve dodged a bullet when your colleague talks about their “in laws visiting”.
Sorry to hear that, mate.

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15. You never go to a brunch that has “family friendly” in the description.
*Shudders*

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16. There’s no one to tell you that Rock Bottoms is a bad idea.
Maybe you should set a reminder on your phone.

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17. You’ve taken your place as the reliable single friend in your group.
When their partner is travelling, you’re the first person they call.

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18. Speaking of friends, you have a huge circle of people around you.
Being so sociable has its plus points.

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19. But when you’re not out socialising you can lose hours watching random videos on YouTube.
“Have I just spent two hours watching a guy cut things with a hot knife? … Yep.”

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20. You get offended when people try to take the chair beside you.
… because that’s where your bag sits.

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21. You often remind yourself that being single in Dubai is actually pretty great.
And you’ve got the photos to prove it.

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