21 signs that you’re single in Dubai

3.  People at work keep trying to set you up with a “really great” friend who just moved here.
Back off, people.

4. The Entertainer is built for people in pairs, which makes it extremely awkward when you and all your single mates go out.
There’s always an odd number.

5. You’re like a directory of everything that’s going on in Dubai.
When your friends are planning a night out they call you before checking Platinumlist.

6. You’ve been single for so long that you’ve forgotten how to speak to someone you might be interested in.
“Why do I have to be so awkward all the time?”

7. Your call history on Skype alternates between “Mum” and “Dad”.
Yep.

8. You’ve stopped getting excited when your phone flashes up with a text.
“Oh look, it’s Domino’s reminding me that I can save 20% on… wait a minute. That IS exciting!”

9. Your weekly shop consists of a jumbo pack of ramen noodles, a jar of green pesto and the smallest bottle of milk on the shelf.
You have no idea what you’re going to make with it…

10. You’re in your apartment so infrequently that you’ve never bothered to buy a proper TV.
Your laptop does just fine, thank you.

11. You’ve followed up a work phone call more than once with a LinkedIn search…
Just in case they’re good looking.

12. You know that your married friends are #jealous of your Instagram.
Hello you, snooping on my Insta Story while I live it up in Sri Lanka for the weekend.

13. You have literally never been to Pierchic.
Only couples go there.

14. You always feel like you’ve dodged a bullet when your colleague talks about their “in laws visiting”.
Sorry to hear that, mate.

15. You never go to a brunch that has “family friendly” in the description.
*Shudders*

16. There’s no one to tell you that Rock Bottoms is a bad idea.
Maybe you should set a reminder on your phone.

17. You’ve taken your place as the reliable single friend in your group.
When their partner is travelling, you’re the first person they call.

18. Speaking of friends, you have a huge circle of people around you.
Being so sociable has its plus points.

19. But when you’re not out socialising you can lose hours watching random videos on YouTube.
“Have I just spent two hours watching a guy cut things with a hot knife? … Yep.”

20. You get offended when people try to take the chair beside you.
… because that’s where your bag sits.

21. You often remind yourself that being single in Dubai is actually pretty great.
And you’ve got the photos to prove it.