15 things your friends ask you when you move to Dubai
1. Is it safe?
“On separate occasions, I’ve lost my purse, phone and passport and I got them back. Every. Single. Time.”
2. Are you getting paid, like, loads of money?
“I’m just going to say no, in case you make me pick up the tab next time.”
3. [If you’re a woman] Can you drive?
“YES! Sorry for the outburst, but yes, women can drive.”
4. Where even is Dubai?
“Erm… have you never heard of the UAE?”
5. … Is that in Abu Dhabi?
“Just… spend some time on Google Maps please.”
6. Do you swim in your pool every day before work? I would.
“No, I don’t and no, you wouldn’t.”
7. Does everyone drive a supercar?
“I am currently talking to you from my Ford Ka.”
8. Is it just a desert full of skyscrapers?
“Hold on while I WhatsApp you a picture of Hatta, and Kite Beach, and the Madinat Jumeirah, and this cool new hiking trail I was on last weekend…”
9. What’s so special about Dubai?
“Lots of things. The cleanliness of public bathrooms is pretty high on the list.”
10. Is camel racing really a thing?
“Yes and, it’s brilliant.”
11. What’s the food like?
“I’ve gained a stone since I arrived. That says it all.”
12. Don’t you get vertigo living so high up?
“Going out on my balcony is like an extreme sport.”
13. How do you get to work?
“What are you expecting me to say? Via flying car? Actually, that will be happening in a few years…”
14. Is there plenty of stuff to do at weekends?
“This weekend I’m deciding between a boat party, a brunch, a concert, wakeboarding, kayaking or just chilling out with Netflix.”
15. When can I come and visit you?
“There’s a waiting list.”