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9 questions that everyone living in Dubai can answer

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1. “How long will it take to get from Dubai Marina to DIFC on Thursday at 6pm?”
Erm… just stay at home. Oh… you’re not joking? Take the metro.

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2. “How do I find a parking spot at The Dubai Mall on a Friday?”
Watch out for anyone trying to nick a space you’re reversing into. Use your horn.

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3. “Why there aren’t any taxis at 4pm?”
Shift change. Make the mistake once and never make it again.

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4. “What’s the quietest mall to go to when there’s a super sale?”
Arabian Center or Ibn Battuta. You should feel privileged that we’re telling you our secrets.

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5. “Why do I keep hearing that Dubai has no culture?”
Because ‘travel journalists’ visit for a short layover and spend the whole time in The Dubai Mall. *Sighs*

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6. “What’s fastest way to make dinner at home?”
Order it.

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7. “Where can I find a flashing, illuminated, mint flavoured tooth pick?”
Dragon Mart.

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8. “How do I get a picture of myself with the Burj Khalifa?!”
Take a friend, get them to crouch down on the floor and angle their iPhone upwards. You’ll look like you have 4 chins, but you’ll get the shot.

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9. “What’s the best brunch in Dubai?”
Are you a vegetarian? Do you have kids? Are you looking for gold flakes on your food? Do you want inflatable props? Fancy bumping into a celebrity? Details, people. Details.

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