17 signs you’re a British person living in Dubai

1. You still ask for “crisps” instead of “chips” in shops, even though you know it will confuse the cashier.
It’s more important to be correct than to have an easy life.

2. You got RIDICULOUSLY excited when you heard that a Marks & Spencer’s will be opening in Dubai Marina.
You probably posted something about it on social media.

3. It took your body at least a year to adjust to all the Vitamin D.
And now you can’t get enough of it.

4. In fact, you’re usually the only one sunbathing when the weather is over 45 degrees.
The excitement never wears off.

5. You find yourself saying “sorry” when someone walks into you in the mall…
Force of habit.

6 …you feel horrified at yourself when you go back to the UK and use the word “mall”.
“Who am I and what have I become?”

7. You can’t help but tut when someone hands you a cup of tea that’s actually a tepid mug of dishwater.
But you thank them anyway and say, “Lovely.”

8. You once saw a Dubai number plate in central London and you had to stop yourself going over to say hello.
It’s like being part of the same club.

9. Someone at work once tried to change your spelling from British to American because they thought you had made a mistake.
… and you’re still talking about it to this day.

10. You get irrationally excited when you see a picture of a Dubai celebrity at Ascot.
Even though you’ve never actually been yourself.

11. Other people steal bathrobes from hotel rooms; you steal tea bags.
And you’re paranoid that you’ll get in trouble all the way through check-out.

12. When you get on the Dubai Metro, you sit as far away from other passengers as you can possibly manage.
Just trying to be respectful of personal space.

13. If someone sits next you on the metro you feel intensely irritated.
Even though there’s actually nowhere else for that person to sit.

14. When you ask how far away something is and the other person responds in kilometres you have literally no idea what they’re talking about.
But you would never reveal that you don’t understand, so you nod your head and make an “mmmmm” noise.

15. You are constantly confused by date formats, because some people use British (DD/MM/YY) and others use American (MM/DD/YY).
Think calm thoughts.

16. The first time you asked someone, “How are you?” and they actually told you how they are, you had no idea what to say.
Because the only response you’d ever heard before was, “Fine, thanks.”

17. You still go to get in the wrong side of your car, even though you’ve lived in Dubai for years.

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