8 reasons why you’re flaking on tonight’s plans...
1 Medical emergency
If you miss an appointment because you’re rehearsing selfie poses or deleting embarrassing former Twitter opinions then you come across as shallow. If you tell somebody you have an unspecified ailment, however, they’re much more likely to forgive you. Don’t make it too serous a condition, though. When you social media stalk them later it needs to be something that can clear up in case you decide to join them after all.
2 Get real
Can it even be considered flaking if you never had any intention of going in the first place? Surely, even when you say “yes”, it is implied that you won’t actually pop round and see a colleague’s baby, be at the café near the office before work or help take photos of things to put on Dubizzle. Right?
3 Worse plans
Double-booking happens, don’t worry about it. Make it absolutely clear to the person you end up joining that the other event was way more fun, but you came to see them anyway and they’re lucky to have you.
4 They did it
Landing on the moon, running a four-minute mile, finishing two pizzas in one sitting – these are the sort of firsts that get remembered and reputations are based on. If your friend has a track record of flaking then have no shame in boosting them. Nobody who has ever cancelled on you at the last minute can criticise you for doing the same. It is a rule.
Other people flake on plans because they’re lazy. Or fickle. Or just don’t like you. At least if you are rescheduling to catch up on global affairs and watch cable news there is some honour in that.
6 Spoiler alert
If you can make it sound like you are doing them a favour not to follow through then you are a champion flaker. Try letting them know you are a couple of episodes behind on a shared TV binge and you can’t let them discuss it if you’re there. No matter how popular you are, the group would be much happier discussing Game of Thrones without you than not discussing
it with you there.
7 Friend credit
You’ve been hilarious the past three times you hung out, they owe you AED200 from THAT party and they still haven’t got you the phone number you wanted, so you are in favour at the moment. The bank of good will floweth over and you can afford to take a hit.
We’re friends, I don’t need to justify myself to you. No means no and I am not coming so don’t make me think up an absurd excuse. I will be playing Fortnite until 3am instead, so deal with it.