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The meaning of romance, according to comedian John Fothergill



You seem to be over here quite a lot, how many times have you been over?
Probably about four times, maybe. A bit more? Five in the last 10 years or so. I always enjoy myself. I was quite big in Abu Dhabi for a while… Well, that’s what it felt like. It was just every time I went there I had such a sweet gig, you know.

Where are you looking forward to checking out on this visit?
I love the massive malls and that big tower you’ve got over there, which I went up last time. We got stuck in Dubai for an extra week one year because of the volcano in Iceland, so we got to have a bit of a look around some of the sort of places we wouldn’t usually go, where the average tourist wouldn’t normally go, more for the regular workers… I almost got a job actually.

What will your routine be covering on this tour?
Obviously I’ve got a few things on Dubai and that. I’ll maybe turn on the news on Sky here to see what’s been going on. I’m not exactly current affairs material – it’s all so depressing. I’m not too serious about it to be honest… Sorry I’m looking out the window here and there’s a squirrel just staring at me… Sorry, I’m certainly not piling into Theresa May or anything, I don’t think I know enough about politics to comment on it. I feel like a lot of comedians should be like that. They don’t know enough about it.

Are you a fan of Valentine’s Day?
I’m a bit of a romantic, yeah. I’ve been known to put little packs together… I don’t go spending a fortune mind, I’m not loaded.

What’s the worst Valentine’s Day gift you’ve ever received?
It wasn’t a Valentine’s Day gift, it was actually a Secret Santa. I got a gift from Gazza’s sister, because we were doing a pantomime together. It was a clown codpiece. Like a jockstrap, with a clown’s face on it. Beautiful. And it was tiny.

What is romance?
Being able to fart in front of each other.

What’s your favourite place in the world?
I love Abu Dhabi. It’s nice to be liked. Kyoto in Japan is absolutely beautiful, just the sweetest place in the world.

What did you want to be growing up?
When I was a young kid, I was obsessed with Fred Astaire, so I wanted to be a top hat dancer.

Who’s the funniest person on the planet?
I would say Steve Martin, I love Steve Martin.

What makes you happiest?
The obvious…

What are you most afraid of?
Beetles. I can’t stand insects. I don’t mind spiders, but anything crunchy…

When: AED150, throughout Feb
Where: Various locations,

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