7 things that will happen if you quit the gym tomorrow
1 Less social media
A snap of an alarm clock at 5.30am. Motivational quotes extolling the importance of being pushed to your very limits. A short video of a deadlift. The Instagram options open to a regular gym user are as enticing as endorphins. Without a gym membership you will have to get creative. For some reason people are less interested in snaps of you eating pizza in the bath.
2 Diet improves
2291. That is how many calories there are in two double cheeseburgers, a large fries, a small coke and an Oreo McFlurry in McDonald’s. When you’re a gym member you know, to the exact step-count, how far you need to run to justify that indulgence. You allow yourself the treat more often than you should, because you’re burning it off. Stop working out and there is NO WAY you would forgive the treat and will eat better as a result.
3 Hurts not aches
Regular gym-goers may feel the effects of leg day or have the dull throb that comes with an exhausting plod along the treadmill. Those occasional aches, however, are replaced by the actual pain of the physically inactive. Audible groans when you sit up from a sofa, panting at any stair climb of more than two flights and, of course, knee, back, shoulder and calf strains that can be triggered by repositioning a pillow too vigorously at night.
4 Effects are immediate
It is one of life’s great cruelties that it takes months of hard work to see results in a gym. Stop going to the gym, however, and it is entirely possible to add the Dubai stone if you so much as look at a picture of a waffle iron. Or, put another way, six-packs can be undone in a matter of days.
5 More nights out
The moment you stop rising at dawn, eating kale and wearing lurid coloured yoga pants with tight T-shirts you will find you are being invited to, and guilt-free accepting, a lot more party invitations.
6 Language change
Quit the gym and, overnight, you will stop talking about (and pretending to understand) your “core”, “reps”, “maxing”, “glutes”, “sets” and “cardio”. High-fives, grunts, fist-bumps and backslaps will also be down by about 95 percent, too.
7 Delusion rules
The non-gym visitor can convince themselves of nearly anything. “I don’t need the gym – I will dance it off in the club”, “I exercise better as part of a team sport rather than lone workout” and “Wii Fit is better than bootcamp for my body shape” are all actual lies we have told ourselves when quitting gyms in the past.